Actually, I do believe I smell something burning and see smoke filling this room as I type this...
Tomorrow I am going in...Tomorrow is the day of my ILP procedure, and if I do say so, I am petrified.
My stomach is knotting up BIG TIME, to say the least...
Of course, I do count myself lucky, as things can always be worse on a number of levels. I will try to think of all the ways that I am lucky and blessed. I know for sure, that this will bring me a ton of comfort.
So far, knock on wood, my scans are clear...as far as I know, I am still stage III.
I have all my family and good friends pulling for me and praying...
I have great docs willing to get aggressive and fight hard to wipe this beast out...and this procedure, I know for a fact, costs an obscene amount of money...just thinking about that makes my head ache. My insurance is going to cover it, as it is deemed 'medically necessary'...Whoa. That alone is just mind boggling to me. Putting a cost or a value on human life like that...But we all know that we don't need docs and definitely not insurance companies to tell us we are "worth saving." Hah!!
This procedure has great odds of wiping out this hateful disease, at least in my leg, anyway!
I can go into this being fairly certain that it will kick some melanoma ass. I will make myself be strong, and when I come home, even if I feel like dog crap yet in a haze of narcotics, I will remind myself of all I am fighting and fighting for.
3 comments:
Hi! I came across your blog today and had to tell you how touched I was reading all you have gone through and what you continue to deal with. You may not feel like you are brave, but I think it's so courageous of you to fight the cancer so hard and then to share it all with everyone through your blog. I worry about getting melanoma myself. I have lots of moles and spent my childhood in the hot South when the dangers of exposure were not known. I get checked every year but you never know. Anyway, I will be praying for tomorrow's test to go well (and be easier than you expect!)and for your cancer to be cured once and for all. Keep strong- M.A
PS Your drawings are beautiful!
aren't you the brave soul by making yourself stay strong..you are strong, my dear, very strong even when you don't feel like it. And, when you aren't feeling strong many of us will be praying our hearts out for you..remember to grab Jesus' hand tomorrow and hold tight and feel His strength and our strength in our prayers..we are with you..my husband even prayed for you on Tuesday night..consider yourself blessed. I am pulling for you with every fiber in my being. love to you, my friend, sue
Hi Shannon,
I hope this isn't a duplicate since I made a comment and then it disappeared. Perhaps a sign that it wasn't meant to post. I mostly want you to know how much I admire your honest way of expressing yourself and what you been through. I hate your having to deal with all of that and the dreaded bedside commode incident resonated having been there done that. You have been through so much and I hope you will soon be having a long dance with NED. I love the pictures of your children. You and your family are in my heart and thoughts.
As ever, Carver
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