Just hangin' around...trying to stay sane. This post will probably and most likely be all over the place...a little, no more like a LOT like my brain lately.
Saw one of those more than annoying mass emails that have been fowarded to like 10,067,845 people, sent to me by my sister where I had to scroll down through all sorts of html code and previous email addys to get to the actual joke, but when I did, one of the parts of it actually tickled my ass as somewhat funny:
The joke was in list format and listed things that people always wonder about. It was the last one. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of three of your closest friends, if they are okay, then it's you."
Mine are all okay. Mwaahhahahah.
I actually got to thinking on this Easter morning, about all the good and sometimes amazing ways cancer has affected my life. All the nasty and negative as HELL crap is a no brainer, I just feel compelled to bitch, gripe and complain about it here so it doesn't continue to contaminate my brain and cause it to self destruct more than it already has ;)
The good stuff needs to be mentioned more, and I realized that, so here goes:
I have been overwhelmed by all the love and support I have received from friends and family alike...it never stops melting my heart, and I am not just saying that because it is expected of me. It really does...and it really floors me, and brings me to tears of pure joy...I never dreamed that little ol' me could mean so much to so many people. I still have to slap myself around a little bit to get my head outta my ass, cease all of my self deprecating BS and WAKE UP! Anyone, well...maybe most people, who know my history, know how insecure as hell I really am...Anyway...I have been overwhelmed with the best kind of happiness...
Happiness that I have never known, short of meeting and marrying my husband and having my two beautiful babies. It really means that much to me. All of YOU are my angels, and give me more strength to face whatever comes next than I could ever muster up all by my lonesome.
That just needed to be mentioned :)
I actually doze off for the few minutes that I am on that table, whacked as that may sound. And so far, I have had little to no side effects from it, 5 treatments down...anywhere from 5-9 more to go, depending on how I respond pain wise and otherwise.
Pain wise...ummm, it's getting there. At the very least, I got some great advice, and will definitely take it! So far, the radiation seems to be knocking down the pain in my sacrum/low spine...but I am still hitting the meds the same for the hip pain. Man O MAN, that one is a bruiser!! so it may take a bit...
I will probably post an update on all that is going on with new developments as far as the IL-2 prospects go sometime soon.
Complete change of subject here, but I have been writing and tweaking an article I want and plan to submit to a local magazine. It is aimed at getting awareness out about melanoma and what a NASTY BEAST it truly is...Got some facts in, along with a jab at tanning beds, and of course, I gave a little bit of my own story. I have to admit, I am a little bit intimidated, since the target readers of this mag are in the twentysomething (like under 27) age range. But the thing is, these are the people, aside from teens, who need to hear this message the most. Just a little intimidated...but that won't stop me. Anydamnway, I have written and re-written it like 3 times, and finally think I came up with something halfway decent...Then again, I am a bit off center lately ;)
I may post it here....not sure yet.
I know the pic below doesn't really 'fit' with the Easter thing, I just thought it was funny. Wish I could find a way to include that pic with the article I want to email to that magazine!
Yesterday, my husband and I actually got ourselves a couple of Easter presents:A fire bowl for our back yard, which, in our honest opinions is AWESOME, because we can have little fires right in our own back yard; have a little of the fun of camping right here at home, cause we may only be able to squeeze a couple of trips in this summer. Of course, it goes without saying, that I plan on sqeezing in as much FUN as is humanly possible in whatever time I have left (which HOPEFULLY is a LONG, LOOONG time)...but for times when it just isn't possible, we got our fire bowl as another possibility. That, my hubbie, who I always have fun with, some variety of alcohol containing concoction (once I am OFF pain meds, of course) and possibly a big ol' doobie (or not), could have definite possibilities.
Plus, we got us some NEW cell phones. The ones we have before were dinosaurs, relatively speaking as far as techological crap goes. They were over 3 years old, come ON NOW. LOL. WE even got those bluetooth headsets. Man, I am just beside myself. lol.
Anyway, that is all that has been going on with me these last couple of days. More later on the IL-2. Just don't want to get all negative right now...and that treatment, to be totally honest, scares the SHIT outta me.
But not today.
6 comments:
Easter is a time to rejoice and believe and know you are being held tightly by one so much bigger than your friends...and I wonder who sent these angel friends into your life...just something to ponder. As you and I have had many emails back and forth about life in general, etc I totally understand how overwhelmed you are feeling by the kindness being shown to you..it's just amazing and you are so deserving.
I know there are some rough days ahead but I prefer to look at the GOOD times and days when you are through the tough ones and I think that is what you were trying to convey today in your blog. Just not going to think of the bad stuff today and just concentrate on what is good even if for just one day.
Hope you didn't eat too much chocolate..can you mix that with pain meds. lol I would. hahaha
Shannon,
You better believe that little ole' you means so much to so many people! Don't you forget it. I do know what you mean about being overwhelmed from all the support sometimes. During some of my toughest battles with mel, I was amazed what people would say, do and send. I just hope that I had been there when they really needed me in their lives.
I'd love to read the article for your local magazine.
Hey, keep buying those presents for yourself. I updated my cell phone a couple of months ago and got a blue tooth, too. I just love it. I did think my blue tooth was possessed and making calls on its own for a week or so. People would say I called them and my phone history would show it in "calls made" but "I" hadn't called them. Then I figured out what I was doing incorrectly with the blue tooth.
Thinking of you and sending positive energy up the east coast.
Stay Strong
King (Kathie)
Stage IV 7/05 Liver mets
Hello girlie-
You don't know me, but I know you, as I've read your posts and I feel like we are kindred melly souls. Okay, maybe not, but I do feel your pain on some of this shite. Anywho, I love your blog, and I've officially linked you to my site. You're a trooper, and you've earned my respect and, let's face it, love. Keep it up, and thank you for never-ending humor in a situation that can be, at times, less than funny.
-MissMelanoma.com
(Lori)
Hi Shannon,
I am so happy to read that the radiation treatments have been okay so far and that the pain is being managed better. Also, love the idea of a fire bowl so you and Ed can simulate camping at home. Did I mention that a sip of bubbly for special moments doesn't interact with pain meds. Sort of kidding but hey I don't think an occasional toast by your back yard fire pit is going to make or break anything. I know I'd do that.
I'd love to read your article once you have it finished and hope you post it here.
Good luck making the decision about where to do IL2. I was glad you got some good feedback on the MPIP.
Although we haven't met in person, I have a very high opinion of you and I hope that you can realize that you are worth any support you get from friends and family.
As ever, Carver
Hey Little ol You, meaning so much to Little ol Me, just checkin in on you today, this Easter Day, as I say a prayer for you. You are truly amazing and I want you to know you are such an inspiration to so many.
The fire pit sounds cool! As for the cell phones, I too own a dinasour. Waiting till the contract is up to enter into the technology realm!
I think your article sounds awesome. In my efforts to keep the young gals in the pageant I participate in out of the tanning beds man, I get on a soap box then. I love it when they come to me and tell me they thought about it and won't be going anymore. I am making a difference, however small, and you do and will too! I encourage you to send it honey! Love to read it myself.
Hang in there kiddo, stay sane, and know somebody in CO loves you!
Misty
I think it's awesome you are writing an article. I hope you get it published. Creating awareness is such a positive thing to do, and I can bet it has helped channel some negative energy.
I hope the radiation treatments continue to provide even more relief to you. I know you have a big decision to make in regards to IL-2. I wish you peace and confidence in making the BEST decision for YOU and your family. Whatever is right for YOU, is the RIGHT decision.
You may think you're falling apart, but you are doing better than you know! Keep kickin' mel's butt.
Thinking of ya
melissa
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