Today I came pretty damned near being blown away. I got back the results from my CT scan last Friday along with my PET scan from Tuesday.
There has been significant progression of this shitty intruder, interloper and spoor of the devil that is otherwise known as melanoma.
To say it is a scourge would be a gross understatement.
I have a whole boatload new skeletal metastases; a new crop of 'em in my spine/vertebrae. The PET scan showed T5, L1,L3, L4, Left Sacrum (this one, I knew about), bilateral iliac wings, left proximal femur (GREAT, it's in both my hips now!), bilateral distal femora, bilateral femoral midshafts, and left proximal tibia, left proximal humerus along with a bone met in my sternum. Two new Sub-Q's--one in my left thigh and one, believe it or not right smack in the middle of my right buttock.
Multiple new liver nodules/mets.
Lung mets in both lungs have all increased in size: some have doubled in size--around 2 cm from just under 1cm before, one in particular is now over 4cm x 3cm; three new ones have spawned between both lungs. New hilar and mediastinal lymph node mets.
Soooo....Basically it sounds like it's pretty damned close to everywhere...
We'll see what that brain MRI that I had today has to say...Hoping my brain will still be spared from this blight.
I just can't believe it....Basically I was floored; obliterated once again.
Oh well, I know what I gotta do. Cry and rail and freak out...scream at the top of my lungs until they give out, yank at my hair, beat my head on the wall and cry until I am dried up then drop, in an exhausted heap, if that is what it takes to purge all the toxic and negative emotions from my system for a bit; get it out of my system and keep on keeping on.
Now all I can think about is no longer how petrified I am of IL-2, I am SOO much more than ready to give melanoma some hell!!
BRING IT ON!!
19 comments:
Shannon,
I am SO sorry! I don't even know what to say. Please KNOW that I am praying for you & your family.
Many, many, hugs sweetie!
Amy Jo
Shannon, I am so sorry to hear what the PET scan showed -- BUT you are starting your IL2 on Melanoma Monday right? You are going to kick the hell out of this disease.
I really admire your courage in the face of this beast. I just felt compelled to let you know that you've got another person rooting for you.
Take care of yourself.
Angy (from MPIP)
ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
WTF???
So angry, I just don't understand why this has to happen.
I keep asking the big kahuna WHY all this suffering, but so far I haven't heard back.
Keeping you close to my heart beautiful girl.
K
Dear Shannon,
My reaction to this news is to spew expletives so I'll spare you that. Know that you have a ton of people rooting for you and I am one of them. I hope you'll get the go ahead for IL 2 and that the tide will soon be turning in the right direction for you. As ever, Carver
Shannon, I am pulling for you! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT and Live STRONG!!!!
Shocked, so shocked by this latest news..I was stunned before but now I'm simply shocked for the lack of a better word. I'll be praying for clean brain scans and then you'll be on your way to IL2 and kicking this stinking disease we call the beast to kingdom come..get your punching gloves ready to do some real damage and very, very soon. love ya, sue
Shannon,
I'm sending all the hugs, prayers, well wishes, healing thoughts, crossed fingers & toes, and anything else I can think of - up your direction. I hope your mri gets the all clear and you are able to start your IL-2 on Monday as planned.
There is absolutely NO REASON why you won't be a COMPLETE responder to IL-2.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
melissa
Shannon,
Okay, so we've known each other, what, a month? And I feel like I've known you forever. I love your blog, check it everyday, and come to you for humor when I don't know how to laugh at what's going on with me and my body. So to hear that you are finding all this- good God! My sister in melanoma is having to deal with so much! And yet you come out of the story making me laugh and smile, the thought that you do just what I do- pull at my hair, bang my head, cry until it literally hurts to wipe my tears and I have one of those "crying headaches." Does it help to know at all that we are somehow with you in all of this? Because we are. I love ya and I admire you so much. Thank you for being human and spilling it all on your blog, and please keep us posted! You are in my thoughts every day.
-L
Hey Shannon--
I follow your post on the mpip board and thought I would check out your blog spot.
While we are nearly the same age and did the same things back in the late 80's early 90's...tan, tan, tan. I live at the opposite end of the sprectrum. It was me that should have gotten melanoma. It wasn't. My son, Jarrett, 17, died of melanoma on February 22, 2006.
I hate this disease and I am so sorry that you are dealing with this monster...
Kick some melanoma butt--with the IL2---
Best of luck,
Michelle Boston
caringbridge.org
visit: jarrettboston
Well, this sucks. There is not too much to say except that Mike and I are praying for you and of course the family. If I could trade places with you, I would, in a NY minute. But I can't; keep fighting Kiddo.
With love, your favorite Auntie Karen and Uncle Mikey
Just happened upon your blog - stay strong. Explore Buddhism and know that you have made the world a better place for being in it. Love and the peace that comes with understanding.
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