My Brain is Baked...but CLEAR.

Well, I finally got the news today, after bugging the shit out of that poor nurse at the onc's office.

The MRI of the brain is CLEAR. Thank GOD.

I mentioned this on MPIP, but I literally felt exactly how I would imagine I would feel if I hit the PowerBall jackpot when it skyrockets over 200mil.

Strange, the things that can make you burst with such intense happiness once your life has been forever altered by shitty ol' mel. I mean, this crap is all over my body...Well, not in my heart, kidneys or digestive tract, but in a TON of other spots...
But to hear that my brain was clear and showed no suspicious lesions was like my prayers had been answered. At least some of them.
Now, after all the punches I have taken from melanoma in the last couple of months, I can throw a few myself.

The nurse did tell me that they saw a spot on my skull bone that looked "highly suspicious for another bony metastasis."
But at that time, all I was thinking about and all I said to her was this:
"But my brain was totally CLEAR, right?!?!"
She said, YES.

It does suck about that skull spot, I can't lie...but hey, no skull spot is going to stall the IL-2 on Monday.
It does freak me out a bit...Okay, a LOT...since that is getting a weee bit too close to my brain...

But.

My brain was clear!!!

Now that is reason enough to party. Hell, once you have melanoma, or any cancer for that matter, any good news is reason enough. Or maybe you don't need a reason. Party, if by partying it simply means soaking up all the joy you can get out of life and having the most fun you can doing what ever you think is fun, then Party On whenever the spirit or whatever else moves you.

I do see the oncologist tomorrow, but not until 4:20pm. Now anyone who knows me knows good and damn well I would NOT have waited patiently for that MRI result. If I had to have waited much longer, it would not have been pretty. Weeeelll, it already wasn't pretty, but who cares.

Hopefully not a blessed thing will stand in my way now, the oncologist will give me the green light to go commence to giving melanoma the beginnings of a HUGE ass kicking it so rightfully deserves on Monday.

And...I am armed with some great advice from some great people that I have "met" on MPIP. I will try to barter with the nurses for Marinol (Thanks Jane, for that tip plus the tons of others you offered up!) if I feel nauseated...that one is for certain, because I have had it up to my eyeballs with nausea lately.

I have been nauseated every time I turn around these last couple of days. My appetite just isn't quite right...I lost 4 pounds in 3 days...

Maybe it is those "multiple" liver metastases. I believe I read somewhere that is one symptom that can sometimes show up, among others. Sometimes there are no symptoms, but it would seem I am not quite that lucky. Just haven't felt all that great the last couple days...Too many in my face reminders that I am in fact "sick"...no, check that, very sick...when I would so much rather believe I am NOT. I don't much like acknowledging that little (or not so little) fact.

I am just me feeling a bit off. I would so much rather make like an ostrich and stick my head deep down into the ground. Unfortunately, that option is out right about now.

Being sick though, we can all attest to the fact that that stinks no matter what the cause. I just go on, pretend I am not in most cases, and do whatever I ordinarily do...But nausea, that one is f**king hard as Hell to ignore...I don't much like feelin' like crap.

But today...Now today...I don't care what I felt like, it was a GREAT day!

On another note, I just got a really cooool book. I would recommend it to anyone. It is called There's No Place Like HOPE by Vickie Girard. I actually saw it on Miss Melanoma's page (Thanks Lori, great book!!).

It is so honest...not even halfway through it and I was already laughing, crying...you name it. It's great...

HOPE. That's right.